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Hi Tayshaun,
Your testament on Lisa
is a very heavy thing. Congratulations. Because I pointed out to you in my
Dating Dictionary what qualities a woman should have, you came to the
realization of how special she is. You studied the information in my book, you
internalized it, you saw certain wonderful characteristics in Lisa, and all of
a sudden you asked yourself “How does Doc Love know my girlfriend?”
But I sure do, pal. Recognizing a great woman when you find her is a
major point we rarely talk about. Without utilizing my rules as a guide, many
guys don’t realize how great their girlfriends are, and on the other side
of the coin, many guys put up with too much crap. But we never look at the
other side of the coin -- because Oprah wouldn’t allow it.
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Now I’ll be the first to tell you that someone
swiping your money isn’t right. But remember, as Sal “The Fish”
Love says, “When you get married, it’s not just you and her.
It’s you and her and the government.” And the government, on account
of its skittish political correctness, favors the woman in the vast majority of
divorce cases. You should be concerned, Tayshaun, because the government is
most likely going to be on her side when it comes time to dissolve your union.
You have to worry that if all of a sudden her Interest Level goes south of 50%,
you’re out – or worse, she’ll stay with you and bleed you to
death.
It’s funny how when the woman’s Interest Level is 95%
the word “reasonable” equals $0 alimony per month. But if her
Interest Level goes down the tubes and she becomes “unreasonable,”
she’s going to hit you up like one of Johnny Carson’s exes. You can
just hear her now: “You think 20 grand a month is excessive? Honey, you
haven’t bought many Pampers lately! Get yourself down to the
pharmacy!” (Meanwhile, she’s dropping $400 a month getting her nails
done!)
Let me tell you a little story. The other day I’m watching
TV and I catch Donald Trump doing an interview. Standing next to him is his
fiancé, a stunningly beautiful ex-model who’s slated to be wife
number three, and the guy with the mic asks, “Mister Trump, what’s
your biggest fear in life?” The Donald should have said something like
“Losing my casinos in Atlantic City.” But instead he comes out with
“I wonder if this girl I’m about to marry really likes me or
not.”
It reminded me of John Stamos, just prior to splitting up
from his gorgeous wife, telling the cameras how she’s a bona fide movie
star and he’s just selling telephone minutes in TV land. As you students
of mine know, TALKING ABOUT YOUR INSECURITIES LOWERS INTEREST LEVEL. Trump
needs a pre-nup. He doesn’t even know if this girl “likes” him
or not and he’s nervous enough to talk about it -- IN PUBLIC! If she did
love him 100% and he knew it, that sentence would never have crossed his lips
in front of the cameras and mics. (And don’t forget, here’s a guy
who’s got a top-10 TV show, owns huge buildings with $10 million condos,
casinos and all the rest of it, and he can’t hold onto a woman – in
fact, he’s about to go down for the count for a third time.) Yeah, Trump
needs a prenup all right – because he doesn’t have a clue.
But let’s get back to you – Joe Average. What about Joe Average? My
philosophy is this. You go out with a woman and for the first two months
you’re looking strictly at her Interest Level. You have to get it into the
90s and keep it there. For the next 22 months, you’re going to see her two
or three times a week and you’re going to keep an eye on her Attitude, her
scars, and all the negative baggage she brings into the relationship. When
you’re wearing Doc Love’s glasses instead of your own, you’ll be
able to spot all the bad stuff – and a lot sooner. But you’ll also
see her good qualities. And if she’s a keeper, guess what? Your B is now
going to be a B+. Because when they have a good Attitude, guys, they get
prettier. (Not uglier, like Trump’s exes grow in his eyes when it all goes
sour.) And that’s the point.
Now, buddy, you say you’re
going to earn all this dough. And you’ve been with Lisa for two years, and
she’s straight, she’s got Integrity, she’s a good person. Given
that scenario, you’re insulting the girl with a prenup. You’re
telling her that you don’t have enough trust in her to go into this
without a written agreement, and that she doesn’t love you enough, so she
has to sign this thing. If I were you, I’d pass on it.
On the
other hand, if your upcoming marriage makes you jittery, there might be
something going on that you have to look at -- closely. Either you’re
insecure about it for reasons of your own, or she’s giving you a vibe that
you can’t quite read, but you’re getting a funny feeling. Think about
it.
Remember, guys: if you go by my rules, you know she’ll stay
forever, and because she’ll stay forever, you won’t need that silly
prenup. |
