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Hi Butchie,
Making sure that the
playing field is even for guys is what “The System” is all about.
When it comes to dating and relationships, men are at a distinct disadvantage.
Like my cousin General Love says, “It’s the equivalent of winning the
Golden Gloves, then getting in the ring with Mike Tyson and thinking you
actually have a chance.”
Is it okay for your girl to lay her
hands on you in a non-affectionate way? It’s NEVER NEVER NEVER okay for a
woman to slap a man under any circumstance. Like my cousin Brother Love down in
Watts says, “Dog, you don’t hit animals and you don’t hit
people.”
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Butchie, you shouldn’t have been boozing
excessively with Lisabeth. You indulge in a whole “night of
drinking.” Sensible, civilized people have one or two drinks and then
stop.
Now let me get this straight -- this wasn’t the first time
you got popped in the kisser by Lisabeth and you hung around for more? Gosh,
Butchie, you’re just as dumb as your ex! You can rationalize being drunk,
but you can’t rationalize being sober and smacking someone in the face.
And by the way, how come you spent two years with this girl? You should have
read her a lot sooner. Are you sure you got the right book?
Here’s the problem with a woman who’s saddled with “father
issues.” When you meet a girl, you naturally want to pump up her Interest
Level and keep it in the 90s. On the other hand, you have to realize that there
are things you can’t change. If a woman doesn’t have Integrity and
character coming in, you’re not going to change her. If she’s a taker
and she’s hardheaded, you’re not going to change her. And so forth.
But the next part is what I call “baggage and scars.”
Lisabeth has both. So being punched out is what you’re going to have to
put up with if you want this kind of woman. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says,
“My son, you have to deal with the sins of her past.”
Hopefully it was you who did the dropping here and you told Lisabeth why you
were doing it. Like I said earlier, it’s ALWAYS, 100% of the time, a NO-NO
to slap a guy. There are NO exceptions EVER. If a woman or a man gets hit at
any time during a dating relationship, they should turn around and RUN the
other way. FOREVER. And there is never an excuse for someone to hit the
opposite gender.
A woman’s relationship with her father is
super-important. If she has a good mother and a good father and they’re
still in love with each other, that positive image will flow down to you, and
she’ll have the unconscious desire to replicate the experience. If her
father possessed the male strength qualities that made him a great dad,
she’ll recognize those in you and she will – and please take this the
right way – want to marry someone like her father because of the powerful,
positive impression that he projected. So that’s exactly what she’ll
say to herself: “Give me a husband who’s like dear old dad!”
But like my cousin Sal “the Fish” Love says,
“Lisabeth’s daddy sounds like a real fun guy.” Both physical and
verbal abuse are equally terrible, Butchie. Not that I’m playing down
physical abuse in any way, please don’t get me wrong. But a father
who’s doesn’t play with his kids, who doesn’t hold his kids and
read to them, who isn’t constantly telling his kids how intelligent and
perfect and beautiful they are, isn’t a good one. Because those are the
strokes that fathers and mothers should be giving their kids from the time
they’re born until they’re five years old. Like the great Doctor
Freud once said, “If a child gets those strokes, he or she won’t grow
up to want to hurt somebody.”
Should an abused woman be stayed
away from? Well, Butchie, if you had a choice, what would you do?
You
should have picked up on this woman’s passive-aggressiveness and
codependency issues early on and stayed away from her. Far away from her. To
you Psych majors, when you’re dating a girl, you’re not there to be
her psychiatrist or her punching bag. And yes, with heavy baggage Interest
Level plummets. It happened to you.
I don’t care if Lisabeth was
Mother Teresa’s twin in all the other areas of her life, you still
can’t hit people. And don’t worry – if she’s so beautiful,
she’ll easily find some other dude to rationalize her slapping compulsion.
Do I think you made the right choice? My friend, you couldn’t
have done better.
Remember, guys: when she takes a swing at you, you
take a walk. |
