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Hi Wesley,
Why in the world are
you telling this woman you want to take her out again? Putting aside the
popular myth – perpetuated by Feministas like Oprah – that women want
guys who spill their guts, let’s suppose that Cherry wants a man who plays
it cool and would rather drag his interest out of him. Well then, you blew it,
pal. To boot, the goal is to try and read her Interest Level, and the
way to do it is by not coming on heavy. To you Psych majors, if you come
on like gangbusters you’re going to LOWER her Interest Level.
It’s okay that your hands shook when you were out with Cherry. I
don’t know if you’ve memorized my material yet, but either way
we’re going to help you. Let’s say you knew your hands were
going to shake – that it’s happened before. Well, then, you should
have done something else with this girl where she couldn’t see your
hands shaking – like take her to an IMAX movie. Then do it for two or
three dates until you get comfortable with her and your hands stop shaking.
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But of course Cherry changed after she saw you doing
Saint Vitus’s Dance. Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “She looked over
at you and saw you juggling, but she didn’t see no balls in the air!”
So why would she want to go out with you again?
But her lack of
interest wasn’t stopping you, dude. You went ahead and presented
her with a bouquet. Why are you giving this stranger flowers? We want
her wondering how many women are chasing you, versus how many women are
rejecting you because you’re needy and you come on too strong. How
did you think this girl was going to interpret your mushy gesture? Remember,
guys, unless it RAISES Interest Level, don’t do it.
But you
weren’t finished. You called Cherry and left her a message. Why
didn’t you just ask her to meet you at the jewelry store so you two could
pick out the ring?
You didn’t really “let” the weekend
pass, buddy. You act like this girl’s dying to see you. How can you say
you “let” it pass? What are you trying to do, save face here? Come
on, guy, don’t try and snow me -- I’ve been in sales all my life!
You knew something was wrong, all right, except that you thought it
was Cherry’s answering machine that wasn’t working. But you insist
that you two have a growing friendship. Guy, she doesn’t return phone
calls! You call that a growing friendship? Like my cousin General Love says,
“I call that Death.” Wesley, please, you have to lay off the Gallo!
Now, dude, why would you tell someone who doesn’t want to have a
romantic relationship with you that you want to have a relationship with
her when she just told you she wasn’t interested? Like the
great Doctor Freud once said, “Did you do it because you’re a great
listener?”
YOU apologized for making HER write a letter? Like my
cousin Sal “The Fish” Love says, “I’m sticking the gun in
my mouth right now!” I can’t believe you, Wes. You’re giving me
wimp chills!
But at least you’re going to get some money out of
the deal even though Cherry rejected you. It’s great that she wants you to
help her pick out her paint. If it were me, I would have asked her “By the
way, when you make out the check, it’s 40 bucks an hour!”
But on the other hand, you’re getting a free dinner out of it. Look at it
this way. Maybe Cherry wrote you off, but she likes your work. And as my cousin
Rabbi Love says, “Consider the economics of it – she keeps giving you
leads.”
So stay on the business track, Wesley, and forget the
romance. And by the way, how do you set tile when you’re hands are
shaking?
But you’re still confused about what she wants. Dude,
she doesn’t want to be with you. Her Interest Level in you is 1%.
CORRECT. I said 1%.
You’re not about to jump into anything? My
friend, you’ve been jumping around like a Tasmanian kangaroo! You think
you’re getting a second chance? Yeah, and you’re going to win the
Powerball drawing next week, too!
Wesley you’re out. What does
this girl have to do, hire a hit mean for you to get the drift? Like the
Reality Factor says, “What are her actions?” Hey, she
doesn’t call you back!
But the good part is she’s getting
you business and that’s the main thing here. You’re making dough off
this woman. Usually when they drop you they won’t give you the time of
day, but this one’s shooting you leads. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love
says, “The only down side is that maybe she’s looking for someone to
paint her walls for free.”
Remember, guys: the key to women is
not charging in. |
