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Hi Anton,
What youve done after
getting hold of my book examining yourself and becoming increasingly
self-aware -- is what most men dont do. Most guys will never
sit down and write the names of the last 10 girls they went out with and figure
out what went wrong, who dropped whom, whose fault it was, and then take a
long, hard look at those ugly numbers. Why? Because the male ego wouldnt
allow them to even think of something like that. All women are illogical
and unpredictable thats the excuse men use to rationalize
their failures with the opposite sex.
Anton, all the blunders you made
over the years with girls can be boiled down to a single phrase: too
happy to be there. Remember that, guys. You never want to be too happy
just to be there.
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Now let me get this straight. You want to
WHAT? JOKE ABOUT A WOMANS APPEARANCE?
NEVER.
Let me repeat myself so you guys hear it loud and clear
NEVER.
The Reality Factor says you NEVER talk about a
womans appearance unless its in a POSITIVE manner. If you
dont, youre courting disaster, not romance. You think
youre sensitive? Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love says, When
you make fun of a babes body, youre either stupid or youre
looking to get dumped.
And remember something else, Anton.
Whats funny to you whether its crows feet,
cellulite, or dark roots isnt funny to her. Remember,
shes a female. Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, Shes got four
legs and a tail like a dog, but shes a cat.
But okay, you
want to tell her shes getting a flabby fanny because you think its
cute. Youre on the right track, pal, but why dont you just say,
Honey, I think your butt is as big as Nebraska! All women would
just love to hear something like that, wouldnt they?
And that
crack about her roots
.You know what youre saying here, dude?
Its like your mom telling you, Ant, you look great in your new
outfit, except that the buttons on your coat look like hell. Think about
it. If your mom said that to you, how would you feel?
Youre not really throwing out bait about your interest when you make
those comments. What youre really doing is putting the girl down. Like my
cousin Sal The Fish Love says, When you talk about the fact
that her butt looks like the south end of a northbound pony, do you really
think youre going to get yourself in good with her?
As far
as your fix with Caprice is concerned, it depends on how much damage
youve already done. And you know what I think about going back to a girl
once her Interest Level is swirling in the toilet. But since you work with
Caprice, ask her out to coffee. But only ask her once. The last thing
you need is a harassment case flying in your direction. Like my cousin Rabbi
Love says, No girl is ever worth losing your income over.
You tell me now that Caprice is breaking up with her live-in? In that
case, you dont spend any time with this girl. You just smile at
her, and make sure she sees you when all the other girls are giggling, touching
your arm and bumping into the side of your body when youre standing at
the water cooler or getting your coffee. And thats all youre going
to do. Caprice has to be completely out of her boyfriends hair. Until
then, shes not available.
What do you mean this girl
doesnt have any options? You mean to tell me that Caprice is 25 years
old, gainfully employed, and shes never saved a dime so she cant
come up with the first and last months rent? Is that what youre
telling me here? To you Psych majors, this girls a real winner.
But youre smitten with her anyway. And youre kissing her when she
lives with somebody else. Buddy, you shouldnt even be doing that. But
Ill grant you this shes got Interest Level if shes
smooching with you. First, though, shes got to move out. (And dont
forget, she cant come up with the security deposit!)
You might
very well have been a rebound item for Caprice, my friend. But what youre
going to do is this: let her move out, and if the boyfriend doesnt call
or hang around her anymore, thats when you invite her for coffee at
Starbucks. But not until you know it for a fact.
So heres my
advice: DISAPPEAR until the boyfriend disappears.
Remember, guys: if
you want her to like you more, tell her how nice she looks but only
once. |