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Hi Anton,
What you’ve done after
getting hold of my book – examining yourself and becoming increasingly
self-aware -- is what most men don’t do. Most guys will never
sit down and write the names of the last 10 girls they went out with and figure
out what went wrong, who dropped whom, whose fault it was, and then take a
long, hard look at those ugly numbers. Why? Because the male ego wouldn’t
allow them to even think of something like that. “All women are illogical
and unpredictable” – that’s the excuse men use to rationalize
their failures with the opposite sex.
Anton, all the blunders you made
over the years with girls can be boiled down to a single phrase: “too
happy to be there.” Remember that, guys. You never want to be too happy
just to be there.
Search
the Singles Ads
Meet more people, make more dates, and have more
fun!
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Now let me get this straight. You want to
WHAT? JOKE ABOUT A WOMAN’S APPEARANCE?
NEVER.
Let me repeat myself so you guys hear it loud and clear
– NEVER.
The Reality Factor says you NEVER talk about a
woman’s appearance unless it’s in a POSITIVE manner. If you
don’t, you’re courting disaster, not romance. You think
you’re sensitive? Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love says, “When
you make fun of a babe’s body, you’re either stupid or you’re
looking to get dumped.”
And remember something else, Anton.
What’s funny to you – whether it’s crow’s feet,
cellulite, or dark roots – isn’t funny to her. Remember,
she’s a female. Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “She’s got four
legs and a tail like a dog, but she’s a cat.”
But okay, you
want to tell her she’s getting a flabby fanny because you think it’s
cute. You’re on the right track, pal, but why don’t you just say,
“Honey, I think your butt is as big as Nebraska!” All women would
just love to hear something like that, wouldn’t they?
And that
crack about her roots….You know what you’re saying here, dude?
It’s like your mom telling you, “Ant, you look great in your new
outfit, except that the buttons on your coat look like hell.” Think about
it. If your mom said that to you, how would you feel?
You’re not really throwing out bait about your interest when you make
those comments. What you’re really doing is putting the girl down. Like my
cousin Sal “The Fish” Love says, “When you talk about the fact
that her butt looks like the south end of a northbound pony, do you really
think you’re going to get yourself in good with her?”
As far
as your fix with Caprice is concerned, it depends on how much damage
you’ve already done. And you know what I think about going back to a girl
once her Interest Level is swirling in the toilet. But since you work with
Caprice, ask her out to coffee. But only ask her once. The last thing
you need is a harassment case flying in your direction. Like my cousin Rabbi
Love says, “No girl is ever worth losing your income over.”
You tell me now that Caprice is breaking up with her live-in? In that
case, you don’t spend any time with this girl. You just smile at
her, and make sure she sees you when all the other girls are giggling, touching
your arm and bumping into the side of your body when you’re standing at
the water cooler or getting your coffee. And that’s all you’re going
to do. Caprice has to be completely out of her boyfriend’s hair. Until
then, she’s not available.
What do you mean this girl
doesn’t have any options? You mean to tell me that Caprice is 25 years
old, gainfully employed, and she’s never saved a dime so she can’t
come up with the first and last month’s rent? Is that what you’re
telling me here? To you Psych majors, this girl’s a real winner.
But you’re smitten with her anyway. And you’re kissing her when she
lives with somebody else. Buddy, you shouldn’t even be doing that. But
I’ll grant you this – she’s got Interest Level if she’s
smooching with you. First, though, she’s got to move out. (And don’t
forget, she can’t come up with the security deposit!)
You might
very well have been a rebound item for Caprice, my friend. But what you’re
going to do is this: let her move out, and if the boyfriend doesn’t call
or hang around her anymore, that’s when you invite her for coffee at
Starbucks. But not until you know it for a fact.
So here’s my
advice: DISAPPEAR until the boyfriend disappears.
Remember, guys: if
you want her to like you more, tell her how nice she looks – but only
once. |
