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Hi Chuck,
You didn’t just buy my
book, pal. You made an investment in your future. You didn’t know
it at the time, but you took precautions to protect your long-term mental
health.
And that’s why it’s disappointing that you read
The Dating Dictionary only once. Dude – this material has to be
memorized! I don’t know what it is with a lot of you guys. You
think that just because this powerful manual is merely in your possession that
it’s enough, and now you have it made with the girls. But what you
don’t get is that it’s a tool. If you don’t pick the tool
up and use it, practice with it, and get comfortable with it until it
brings out the manly strength qualities in your personality, you’re
going to continue to make mistakes. And that’s why you’re in the
boat you find yourself in right now.
Search
the Singles Ads
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fun!
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And Chuck, it’s obvious you haven’t
memorized my book because I tell you in The Dating Dictionary to keep it
light and funny, no heavy subjects, and no put-downs. Which of course is
exactly what you didn’t do with Michelle. You put her down for something
she likes to do, which violates my principles. Okay, so she’s into wacky
weed, and you’re not a pothead. Like my cousin Brother Love down in Watts
says, “Nobody’s perfect.” You can withdraw from the relationship
gracefully and not ask her out anymore if you don’t like dopers. And by
the way, why are you getting into arguments with a girl on a date when the
reason for a date is to increase Interest Level? As the Chinese proverb
goes, “Dates aren’t for proving a point, grasshopper.”
Of course Michelle doesn’t want you telling her what to do. Can you blame
her? She hit it right on the head when she told you to take a hike. Hey Chuckie
-- I’m shocked that she doesn’t want to date you anymore!
Like I said, if you don’t approve of her lifestyle, the solution is
simple. Forget her. Don’t take her out anymore. But you didn’t do
anything of the sort. You let Michelle dump you instead. Like my cousin General
Love says, “You won the argument, but you lost the war.”
But
here’s what’s weird about you, Chuckles. You don’t care for
babes who do reefer, but you’re calling this one up and begging to see her
again. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “My son, you don’t even go by
your own principles!” To you Psych majors, you can’t have it both
ways.
Even though Michelle told you that you were history, you
whimpered about whether there was still a chance for you. She just told you
that you were out, didn’t she? Does she have to explain to you that her
Interest Level is 10,000 feet under water in the deepest part of the ocean
before you get the drift? (And yeah, Chuck, I totally believe that you read my
book only once -- your lousy performance proves it!)
You’re
absolutely right that Michelle’s Interest Level was higher than 49%. Hey,
it was way up in the 80s and 90s for four long years. The problem is, you went
and opened your mouth.
And it’s also true that Michelle dug you
as recently as a week ago. But the operative words here are “a week
ago” -- she doesn’t dig you anymore. And she used to miss you,
my friend, but that’s over too. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love says,
“She’s already telling the new guy she misses him.”
Chuck, I’ve got news for you. You were BOTH guys you thought you
weren’t. You played Macho Boy by trying to dominate Michelle with your
high-handed values, and then you turned Wimpus Americanus by going down
on your knees and begging. Like my cousin Sal “The Fish” Love says,
“When you’re that wishy-washy, it’s no wonder everything’s
shot to hell.”
Here’s what you did to make Michelle leave:
you told her what to do. And if she told you what to do, you wouldn’t like
it either. (See girls, I’m not so bad!)
Remember, guys: if you
don’t like what she does, throw her number away -- but don’t harbor
any illusions of changing her. |
