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Hi North,
It's amazing how guys will
contact me when they have a problem with a babe, but they won't contact me when
everything is going well. Very few guys that I sell - probably only about 5% --
say that they want to make sure they're doing all the right stuff, and that's
why they got the Dating Dictionary. They're not out to snag the girl -
because they already have a great one, and she's all over him - but just to
make sure they keep her happy, just to have that slight edge going forward,
they buy my book. Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, "Which side of the fence are
you on, boy?"
As far as hanging around your neighborhood gin mill goes,
pal, you're allowed to do something like that once. Just once. You spot
a girl like Gina, she happens to look like Angelina Jolie's younger sister, and
all of a sudden you're in trouble. All you're going to do is go back there and
look at her some more when you already have a great girlfriend. That was your
first mistake. Let me tell you something: if you go back to that joint a second
time when you're so physically attracted to the bartender, you're cheating
on Shannon. (See, girls? I'm not so bad after all!)
Mistake number
two was actually going out with Gina. First you're ogling her, next you're
dating her. Didn't it matter that you already had a girlfriend? Apparently not.
And apparently it didn't bother Gina at all. Hey, I have to hand it to you,
North -- she's a classy broad. Like my cousin Brother Love down in Watts says,
"I see she's got high standards straight out of the chute!" And by the way, you
should have found out why she got rid of her boyfriend.
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This red-hot bartender may have given you thousands
of compliments, but your girlfriend's got 18 months in with you. Gina doesn't
even have 18 hours in with you.
Now why the heck are you talking
to a friend at your job about this total knockout? Don't you know what a
BLOCKER is, dude? You better go back to my book and look under "B." Know what?
Your friend was just trying to make a fool out of you. He was pushing you to go
and get into an argument with Gina over nothing. Which is exactly what he
succeeded in doing.
Of course you care if Gina's seeing someone else -
you brought it up, didn't you? If you didn't care, you wouldn't have made an
issue of it in the first place, so who the heck are you kidding? It's like when
a woman says "I don't care if a guy has money or not." Then why'd she mention
it? Duh!
You want Gina to be "honest" with you? She doesn't care if she
steals a guy with a long-term steady girlfriend and you're worried about
honesty? That's like trying to turn a tiger into a housecat or asking Hugh
Hefner to stay away from 19-year-olds. You're a funny guy, North.
Now,
when this hospital situation came up, you had to take it for what it was. Gina
wasn't exactly at the post office trying to buy stamps to make sure her
business correspondence got out and she got held up because there were 30
people in line that day. The point is this: she told you that her dear old dad
was in the hospital. Her story is either true or it's false, but we're going to
give her the benefit of the doubt. So let's say it's true. If her father was in
the hospital having an emergency appendectomy, she didn't have to call
you. So you're completely off base on this. Gina should be angry
with you for being an insensitive boor.
Ah, but you won't take
disrespect. Does there have to be a riot in the city before you'll let someone
off the hook? What does it take to convince you there's a genuine problem? A
tornado? An earthquake? Get real here, North. And dude, LOVE IS A GAME.
Get that straight right now.
I don't think Gina's lying about not seeing
her ex. I'll bet she's already got at least two new ducks lined up for when she
gets tired of you (which shouldn't be long now). This girl doesn't fool around.
Like my cousin Sal "The Fish" Love says, "Hey, man -- you forget where this
girl works!"
But we should be crying in our beer over poor Shannon -
not you and Gina. Because the poor girl's Interest Level is high, and you're
going to dump her. Or you're going to get caught fooling around.
You
better tell your girlfriend Shannon to move on, guy. Do her a favor. To you
Psych majors, unless you're going to be loyal to a girl, don't go steady with
her.
You're going to let Gina go? North, it's not your dear old
daddy who's in the hospital! You got no say in the matter. Like my cousin Fast
Eddie Love says, "When she looks like Scarlett Johansson, you don't stand a
chance!"
So here's what you're going to do. You're going to buy a card
and write; "I hope your dad feels better" on the right-hand side. And on the
left-hand side you're going to add, "I was completely out of line when I got on
your case for not calling me. And I hope your dad feels better. When you feel
up to it, give me a call and we'll get together." And you're going to send it
to Gina.
But you've got to get rid of Shannon before you escalate this
thing with your "10" bartender. And you have to do a little studying. Let's
face it, buddy, you're making blunders all over the place. You're calling to
verify dates. You're blabbing to blockers. I don't think so, guy. You've got a
long way to go to hold onto either of these women.
Remember,
guys: when you have a good one, don't mess around. |
