|
Hi Kevin,
Lots of guys tell me that
"The System" carries over beautifully into their business lives. And that's
because I consciously injected the principles of successful sales into dating
and love, which the people who teach Psychology 101 would never think of doing.
After scratching my head over your letter, I just hope you're clear on
what a red flag is, pal. Lara went after you first, right? That happens to be a
GREEN flag. She asked if you were as funny in person? That's a personal
question -- another GREEN flag. She gave you her telephone number. A third
GREEN flag. She didn't turn you down when you called her for a date. I hate to
tell you this, Kevin, but that's yet another GREEN flag. Are you sure
you read my stuff?
Now I'll admit that it's bad that Lara never touched
you once. But let's see what else she brings to the plate. Like my cousin
General Love says, "That's only one warning in a sea of green flags!"
Search
the Singles Ads
Meet more people, make more dates, and have more
fun!
|
|
|
I'm going to compliment you on a couple of things
here, Kevin. It was perfect that you were the one who ended the first
date. You got out of there, man. Most guys would have hung around until one in
the morning, and waited until the girl started yawning and brought up the fact
that she had to leave because she had a busy day at work the next day.
And when you gave her a kiss at the end of the date, you CLOSED. Fantastic! Now
if she'd turned her head, which would most definitely have been a red flag. But
she didn't. So all we're seeing is green flags.
But you should have
waited a little longer before calling Lara for a second date. You phoned her
too soon. What's the hurry, pal? Like my cousin Rabbi Love, says, "Don't go
rushing in and ruining everything. There'll be time enough for that later!"
The woman is not supposed to pay for any of the first 10 dates, Kevin.
But this girl popped for a restaurant bill. She's a GIVER. She's doing 99% of
everything right; so don't get hung up on the rule.
As far as the
touching goes, you're kissing her, she's kissing you back, and she's not
turning her head. Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, "Boy, I'd rather get kissed
than be touched on the arm any ol' day - wouldn't you?" But you're telling
yourself, "She complimented my kiss, but she didn't touch my arm! Oh, hell, I'd
better get rid of her!" Makes sense to me!
The girl's not even
supposed to offer to pay for your dates, Kevin. I don't know where in
the world you got that cockamamie idea. She already sprang for one date. Do you
expect her to pay for everything? Would Cary Grant or Diddy expect a girl to
pay? Come on!
Kevin, you're completely misreading what a red flag is.
But you're ticked off anyway. What did the microbrewery cost you? Thirteen
bucks? Did that break you? Know why she didn't e-mail you after that date? Like
my cousin Sal "The Fish" Love says, "Because you didn't buy her enough beer!"
Lara's not a serial dater. Let me remind you again -- she's kissing
you. She's going out with you every time you ask her. She's sending you
e-mails. (And when she doesn't, you're supposed to wait a lot longer than four
days to call her for your next date. When they back off, you back WAY off.)
This babe didn't send up a smokescreen. You're blowing everything out
of proportion. When she paid for a date, it was a good sign. To you Psych
majors, it's not what the IRS says that matters here. You pay because
you asked Lara out. If she asks you out, she pays for the date. She
hasn't done that yet.
I don't know where your mind is, Kevin, but it was
rude that you even thought about wanting this girl to pay. Count her kisses -
forget the arm-touches. And next time, take her out on a cheaper date if money
is an issue. But the point is this: as soon as you get out of school you'll be
making a lot of money. Heck, you'll make what Lara makes and more. You ought to
be happy that she brings down more jack than you -- but you don't get any of it
until you raise her Interest Level over a long period of time. Just wait a
little longer to call her next time.
It's true that Anna Nicole Smith
married a geezer, but I bet you're not even as good-looking as he was. Lara
offered to paint your condo for you, she kisses you goodnight, and you want her
to buy meals on top of it all?
Her behavior isn't odd at all. It's
your misinterpretation of my principles that's the real problem here. Maybe
Lara's still single at 33 because the only guys who ask her out are guys like
you.
Remember, guys: if she does 90 things right, don't get rid of her
because she does one thing wrong. |
