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Hi Andy,
So, you couldn't take the
fact that your girl was getting together with her ex? Then why did you go back
for more? As my cousin Doctor Freud once wrote, "The boy must be a glutton for
punishment." She left her ex for you? Like my cousin Sal "The Fish" Love says,
"Hey, this girl sounds like the loyal type!"
Let's face it, Andy, when
Megan met up with her ex, the guy didn't exactly have to put a bow and arrow to
her head, did he? He gets to kiss her, doesn't he? You mean she didn't turn her
head when he went for her lips? She didn't push him away? She didn't take at
least one step backwards? Well, now it makes sense! Now I see how the guy got
away with it!
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What you should be asking yourself, Andy, is how
much of the whole story of her extracurricular activities Megan is
really giving you. If she's telling you to your face that her ex is
smooching her and that it's her fault, can you imagine what's
really going on? Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love says, "If she's willing
to cough up this much, you sure she's not working you?"
When she kisses
you and says that it feels so right, you should ask her - like one former
President of the U.S. would - to define "right." Is it "right" enough that
she'll stop seeing her ex? Apparently not.
On my gosh, Andy -- you talk
to WHO about Megan? What have I told you guys again and again? Never
talk to anybody - except for me -- about your relationship. Why don't you just
have "I LOVE YOU, MEGAN!" printed on 10,000 fliers, rent a helicopter, then fly
over the college and throw them out the window?
You can believe or
disbelieve what your best friend is telling you about your girlfriend, pal, but
with the way things are going with her, I'd have to say, "It's a lock you're
going down!"
But what the heck, Megan tells you the very same thing,
right? She practically broadcasts her desire for other men to the world. Like
my Uncle Jethro Love says, "And you keep chasing this girl? Whatsa matter wif
you, boy?"
I don't know why man was given an EGO. It's the most
dangerous thing in the world. The EGO clouds vision. It puts blinders on you,
until all you can see is your own desire. And like my cousin Rabbi Love says,
"When it comes to women, men are STUPID enough to begin with."
So don't
snow yourself, buddy. Megan knows what she really wants. She wants to get rid
of you and find a new stooge!
But you insist on believing that she
adores you and thinks you're a "treasure." Those are two really extreme words
-- and she's confused about her feelings towards you? Hel-lo! Welcome to the
Wonderful World of Womanese!
But not to worry, Andy. Just like she
promised, Megan will always be there for you. Heck, she'll even let you be best
man at her wedding!
Sure, Megan's bitchiness and flirting got to you,
and that's understandable. But what about all the mistakes you made,
guy? What about all the things you did wrong? Maybe that's what sank her
Interest Level; did you ever think of that? (This of course is in addition to
the fact that she has a bad attitude!)
But let's be real here, Andy.
Megan could tell you to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge and you'd do it. She's got
you right where she wants you. To you Psych majors, "She works the man's ego
with the skill of an acclaimed artist!"
You might not want to think
about your squeeze with someone else, man, but that's not the important thing
here. The only thing that's relevant is how Megan feels about
you. Remember, HER Interest Level is the only thing that matters --
after her attitude. All the other stuff means nothing.
Want to
know why Megan needs things from you? Because she wants a pet dog.
Remember, guys: women who love you are consistent. |
